WHAT’S UP DOC
Good morning dear friends! And it is a beautiful day here on the coast of Maine. The temperatures are comfortable with the occasional hot and humid day and the ocean view out my window 🪟 is calming. I love seeing the assortment of boats bobbing at their moorings. It is “high Summer” on the Island and there are people everywhere enjoying their vacations and soaking in the ambience of Deer Isle.
Well, yes, I know I have been missing in action for awhile. I last wrote to you right after my mother had died. It was a truly hard time for me but she was 94 years old and ready to go. In the beginning I missed her so much and found myself talking to her in heaven, lol. Things like…”what ya doing up there, Mom, say hi to Dad, Thomas, Grammy and Grandpa.” As the days went by I adjusted to the fact that she was in a different dimension and I was stuck down here on earth. A place that has become very scary and insecure lately.
It was made more depressing though and overwhelming by the way her house reacted to her death. Don’t laugh. I swear this old house had been her security and refuge for 70 years and when she left this world it seemed like it was telling me it was grieving and ready to pack it in too. Now I say all this with tongue in cheek. HOWEVER…the first stage of IT’S grieving was to ‘shutdown’. Mom passed on Memorial Day, May 31st. It seemed like everything that could go wrong went wrong… septic, gas, plumbing, the stove, structural and the list goes on. I don’t want this blog to be a “whinging” blog so suffice it to say that I have had a very rough time of it lately. The family couldn’t come so it was me, myself and I. Roger did drive up for the service, stayed one day and drove back to be at work with my son. His business is crazy busy.
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| This pair of raccoon youngsters are keeping an eye on the tiny porcupine foraging under the clothesline. |
I am afraid I reacted badly to when things went bottom up and I became overwhelmed with it all. I was and am going through the settling of the estate, probate, etc. I inherited the house and land but it won’t be legally mine until the legalities are completed. They estimate about 4 more months. My mother had a lifetime of junk packed into every corner, closet and room. I have spent the last month and a half sorting, giving away and disposing. It wasn’t only her things but she hadn’t had the heart to go through my grandmother’s or my dad’s clothes, etc. I was brutal in my clearing out the house of many years of accumulation. Due to my back issues I had to take it slow. I hired a person with a truck to make several trips to the dump and I have taken many carloads to Goodwill in Ellsworth, about an hour away right now due to construction and detours. When I finally get to go home my car will be loaded with just MY accumulations of craft stuff these past 8 months.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
In the past two weeks I have had the rugs professionally cleaned. I also went to MERRILL’S FURNITURE and had delivered a sleeper sofa for the living room and a bed, dresser with mirror and night table for my room. So, the house has taken on a more spacious look but I am still left with a lot of stuff that I can’t throw out. I imagine that there are a few of you who have been in my shoes and know what I am talking about. Down the road the house will be sold and I don’t know what I will do with it all. Bookcases were cleaned but most of Dad’s favorite books and my mother’s special treasures are still there. Despite all that has left the house there’s still a lot that has stayed! And there are 3 bedrooms that haven’t been touched. We won’t talk about the 3 bay garage, lol.
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| I love the cooing of the Mourning doves. |
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| An albino porcupine. |
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| A baby porcupine in my backyard at dusk for several evenings. In this picture he or she looks large but in reality was about the size of a cat. The raccoons kept their distance. |
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| Momma and her ducklings. I counted 12 altogether. |
good to read a post from you today, susan...i have thought of you often!! my mom is still alive, but i imagine it is a very difficult time!!
ReplyDeletethe flowers are so pretty, it is a great time of year for flowers!! was that a picture of mom?? i do hope you can find yourself again!!
I understand and have been where you are - having to make decisions as to what to keep and what to donate and what to throw out. I'm still sorting things out.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely view out your window.
You’ve been on my mind. It is good to hear from you.
ReplyDeleteI cleared out my mother’s apartment so I know a bit about that task. Mom left the family home a few years previously so the final clear-out wasn’t as daunting a task though emotionally difficult. Hang in there.
Take care.
WOW! This sounds like a huge job for you to tackle alone. talke it easy and don’t be too hard on yourself. It will all get done.
ReplyDeleteSo good to see a post from you today. You have been busy! Grief has many different forms...letting go of "stuff" is hard and clearing out stuff is even harder. So sorry the house has needed repairs. One room at a time:)
ReplyDeleteSo glad to read how you're doing, Susan. You write with a very good attitude about all the work. I can sort of imagine dealing with a three bedroom house full of stuff all alone - - after working with my siblings-in-law to clear MIL's house last year, and this year clearing my brother's small home with the help of my hubby. I hope you are given plenty of space to make decisions (as opposed to having to consult with family on everything). I'm glad you have pretty scenery to enjoy and take breaks in as you work. Be good to yourself. And keep us posted as you feel like it.
ReplyDeleteEven though I have not been blogging for a while, except for a post maybe last week or the week before, it is good to see a post from you. You sure have accomplished a lot, with more to come. I can only imagine how you have felt. I hope the rest goes smoothly. Love your pics...
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about you and so pleased to see this blog post. You are going through a very difficult time and doing so well. Take care of yourself and thank you for your wonderful photos.
ReplyDeleteIt is good to see a post from you, it is heart wrenching to hear what you are going through, I had the same experience four years ago, when my Mother passed away.
ReplyDeleteSometimes a change in doing thigs is good, I do take a break from stitching and beading and focus on reading.
I love a good mystery, those are my favorite books, yes some language can be brutal.
Your photos are lovely, that porcupine is amazing.
Catherine
Hello Susan and I too was happy to read this recent post. It has been a long time and understandably you have been accomplishing such a lot while dealing with your sadness over your mom's passing. I can recall going through my late mother's possessions, thankfully I had help from my brother and husband. I can imagine you have been going through a range of emotions coming across not only your mom's things but your father's and grandfather's too. Iy's good that you have been taking time for yourself through your photos, reading and seeing friends. I checked my library for the books you mentioned and couldn't find e-book versions (drat). My kindle has become my favorite reading companion as well.
ReplyDeleteDon't know which photo is a favorite here as all were amazing, the raccoons, porcupine, deer and especially the ducklings!
Take care of yourself, blogger friend.
It was lovely to see this post from you.
ReplyDeleteI think you have done so well during this very sad and difficult time.
On a positive note I did enjoy seeing all of your photographs, the island looks a lovely place.
My good wishes.
All the best Jan
Glad to see your post, Susan. I'm sorry there's no one to help you with clearing out the belongings. A very difficult task, I know.
ReplyDeleteDear Susan, For several months, I've been away from blogging and only began again this week. So glad I'd saved your blog because your attitude toward life and living . . . and death, too, . . . speaks to me. Beyond that, I've always wanted to visit Maine. For a year--way back in 1972-73--I lived in Claremont, NH, and thought I might get up to Maine, but didn't. Since then, I've had visiting there on my bucket list, but at 85, I'm sort of letting go of traveling. Thus, your blog with its photographs just delights me.
ReplyDeleteMy mother died when I was 32 and my dad when I was 39. I lived and worked many miles--and states--away from their home and so it was left to my brother and his wife to do the things you are doing. I'm so sure that I, like you, would have paused often over things my mother or father kept. And also, like you, I feel that Mom and Dad are near me, cheering me on, still being proud that I'm their daughter. It's a secure feeling in the midst of today's insecurity. Hold on to it. Peace.
I've just been catching up with your news and I'm so sorry to learn about the death of your dear mom, I know how close you both were and having gone through the same recently, can certainly imagine how you're feeling. My parents downsized from the family home, where they raised their children, back in 2011 to a much smaller apartment and therefore, downsized their belongings too. Still, there was much to sort out so I can only imagine the task you've got with such a large house and so many belongings to sort through. You'll get there in the end though. Your photos are fabulous, as ever, I do love those porcupines.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind comment, Susan on my blog, Susan.
ReplyDeleteOh wow! I'm sorry for all that you've had to go through. That sounds so incredibly stressful.
Maine is such a lovely state. We loved Acadia when we spent our time there. One memory I have while walking in Maine was people coming down with little buckets of wild blueberries. They told us there were lots more, but we just couldn't see any. Whenever we went to pick blueberries in Indiana they were on tall bushes. We NEVER expected them to be close to the ground almost like ground cover. Sending you lots of aloha from Hawaii.